Programmed in multiple techniques

So, science has finally got around to creating a robot lover.

This seems like a mistake, as the first-generation models are likely to be so expensive that only the wealthy and powerful can afford them, and you would think that the wealthy and powerful don't really lack for lovers. Oh, sure, you could pitch in with some of your buddies and co-own one, but that might be unsanitary.

The second problem is that the market for robot lovers has fallen off since its peak demand in the late 70s and the 80s, when robot love was as popular as Cabbage Patch dolls and ninjas. Don't believe me? Try the following examples:

• Dee D. Jackson's "Automatic Lover" (1978), which might be the funniest thing you'll see today
• "Heartbeeps" (1981), based on the premise that it's not creepy if the robots fall in love with each other
• ELO's "Yours Truly 2095"(1982), displaying advances in robot voice technology since 1978
• Paulie's robot in "Rocky IV" (1986), which had an implied sex component
• "Cherry 2000" (1987), with a cameo by Gort
• Data and Yar getting it on in a 1987 episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation"