Thursday, May 28, 2009

America the Beautiful, Breakfast Served All Day

I would never start up a Perkins restaurant, given that my food-preparation skills are markedly deficient.

However, if I were to start up a Perkins restaurant, I would try very hard to find a location next to a car dealership, just to say "My American flag is bigger than your American flag."

Both businesses would probably throw millions of dollars into patriotic one-upmanship until he had a full-sized replica of Arlington National Cemetary out back and I constructed a Hall of Animatronic Cabinet Secretaries.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

You donated that thing? You're braver than I thought

Hey, thanks to whoever it was who donated the Millennium Falcon to the Family Justice Center playroom.

Thanks on behalf of the kids, of course.

Because they'll be the ones playing with it.

Not me.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Anybody going to Korea any time soon?

If so, then please pick up one of these for me.

Update: Now re-hosted.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Now I just need to write the rest of the novel

I think if I ever write a novel, no matter what it is about, there will be a scene where one character beats another up using a copy of "I'm OK, You're OK."

(No, this is not a fact pattern from one of my cases.)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Because my readers are font nerds and Achewood fans

The creator of Comic Sans defends himself.

Part of his presentation shows the Portuguese national basketball team with Comic Sans jerseys. If I were a Portuguese basketball player, I'd consider defecting.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Stick to a successful formula

All the "House" fans are going crazy right now speculating how they'll run the show with Dr. House in a mental hospital.

Here's my idea: the team has to break him out of the hospital every week to solve cases, then return him without anyone noticing.

Also, Dr. Cuddy should be mad about this and chase the team around whenever they do this.

Also, the patients should start arranging for care by meeting with Dr. Taub, who is in disguise.

Also, Dr. Foreman should be afraid to fly and they have to drug his milk whenever they fly.

Also, they should start a mobile diagnostic unit out of a van, preferably a black one with a red stripe.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Went to Berkeley in the 60s. Did a little too much LDS.

There's going to be a Rock Band Star Trek promo. I think this will involve "Bitter Dregs" and the space hippie song and "Life Forms" and the fight music and the Doctor's version of "La Donna e Mobile." And if you win the challenge, you can unlock a guitar shaped like That Rock.

I am relieved that Captain Kirk is still from Iowa. He's also an instructor in hand-to-hand combat: does that mean we'll get to see the legendary Starfleet two-fisted hammer blow?