Thursday, December 30, 2010

Lame thoughts on learning to do music

• I wonder if a guy like Brahms ever sat down, wrote a piece and then asked himself, "Dammit, did I just write a capriccio, or was that an impromptu?"

• Because GarageBand is a .AU host, and my keyboard has a MIDI output, I can use my printer cable to hook up my keyboard to my computer and start playing synthesizer. I have never felt more stupid than when I tried to read software specs for synthesizers. For example: "TAL-Elek7ro is a virtual analog synth with some special features like oscillator hard-sync and frequency modulation. It features alias-free oscillators, newly developed fast envelopes and LFOs with a wide range from 0.1Hz up to 400 Hz. A free routable envelope with attack and decay is available too." I recognize that's supposed to be English, but really, can't they just say "This one goes BBRRRRRROWWWOWWOWWOWWW?"

• Speaking of MIDI, if I use MuseScore, I can automatically convert any MIDI file into sheet music. So the Internet's ancient MIDI websites have become my sheet music library. If you weren't on the Web in 1999, here's what it looked like. Under construction! Sign my guestbook!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Today's Mystery

Seen at the laundromat today: a sign reading "No Dying of Any Kind."

The "No Dying" part is perfectly understandable. I can see why a business wouldn't want corpses sitting around, scaring away the customers and possibly creating fire hazards.

But what possessed them to add the "of Any Kind" bit? The only possible reason I can think of is that the Amazing Zombo was in the laundromat and was trying to argue that practicing his Mysterious Hindoo Death Trance didn't count as "dying" because it was only an illusion.