Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Except it was in the rain

This right here is a pretty good depiction of how I suspect I looked while walking home today after learning that I finally got a job.

Now I can start thinking about things I need to spend money on, like furniture and CLE credits and new wheels for my skates and a new computer and USARS and a real mattress and a new vacuum...

Monday, March 30, 2009

This is my "A" material

I think that if you have a spaceship and you're flying around and somebody shows up and holds you up at laserpoint and steals your spaceship, it should be called a "starjacking."

Because it rhymes with "carjacking."

…I'll show myself out.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Musical hypothesis

The awesomeness of a band that shares its name with a geographical location varies inversely with the population of said region.


1. Boston, pop. 574,283
2. Kansas, pop. 2,688,418
3. Chicago, pop. 2,836,658
4. Alabama, pop. 4,447,100
5. Europe, pop. 731,000,000
6. Asia, pop. 4,050,404,000

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Sandpoint in one piece

I went back to Sandpoint for another job interview, and this time I didn't crash my car (because I didn't take it). Photos here.

Friday, March 20, 2009

For maximum effect, imagine this post presented by a bland enthusiastic white Floridian

How many times has this happened to you? You're packing for a trip, and you've got everything ready to go, you've found room in your bags for all your clothes and all the kids' toys and your magazines, and then you realize:

"I JUST don't have ROOM for my TOOTHBRUSH!!! AAAAAUGH!" [staged chuckle of empathy]

Well, now you can replace that bulky nightmare of a toothbrush you've been using with a slim, svelte, fashionable TRAVEL TOOTHBRUSH!

Yes, the fabulous Travel Toothbrush, developed by the scientists at the Toothbrush Institute, has a revolutionary design that allows it to shrink from four inches long when in use to a mere two inches when in storage! WOW! That's two inches of room you can use for all your other travel essentials! And here's the best part - it doesn't cost any more than a regular toothbrush! Can you believe it? A miracle of science!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Of course it's from Japan

If you are a big fan of 2D fighting games a la Street Fighter II, and if you are a big fan of Broadway musicals, then perhaps you'd like Arm Joe, the 2D fighting game based on "Les Miserables." And yes, there's a download link.

Above: I think this is Eponine using her fire-summoning attack on Marius. You go, girl!

If anyone else is inclined to turn musicals into fighting games, may I humbly suggest "West Side Story?" ("Press X to snap fingers!")

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Shouldn't affect Garry Trudeau

While I am generally in favor of giving greater power to state legislatures and less power to the federal government, I am under no illusion that it will lead to better law-making. All legislatures are capable of incredibly stupid acts. But the beauty of federalism is that every state is free to be incredibly stupid in its own way. Can you imagine an America where we all had to abide by Oregon's Communist gas-pumping laws?

Idaho's legislative stupidity has ranged from a Basque homeland resolution that sparked an international incident (sponsored by Boise's current mayor) to a proposed bill that would have allowed for the instantaneous firing of any teacher who said it was OK to be gay. (The AG's office said it was "virtually certain that the bill would be the subject of protracted and costly litigation. Oh, really?)

Iowa is getting into the act with House Bill 229, a bill which would prohibit distribution of campaign materials that contain cartoons or photographs of opposing candidates, or from discussing prior votes of the candidate on bills that passed with the approval of the other party. Says the bill:
"It is not the intent of the general assembly to lessen political debate that furthers the ability of the public to understand the issues and positions of candidates for public office."
Of course not: and such an act could never be discriminatorily enforced to give the majority party an advantage in elections, I'm sure.

And then there's Connecticut's "Henry VIII Act," which would replace the temporal powers of Catholic bishops with boards of directors.

Friday, March 6, 2009

This is going to be worse than the FedEx arrow

I went 27 years (24 of them in Iowa) before I took a good look at the Iowa state flag...

...and thought, "Wait, what happened to the eagle's feet?"

Don't turn this courtroom into a circus

It's too bad CourtTV isn't around any more, because I'd like to see a case featuring Philadelphia's Steven Leventhal, who is both a lawyer and a magician illusionist. His act is well-enough known that at least one opposing counsel has moved the court for an order to prevent him from doing any magic tricks in front of the jury. Mr. Leventhal's reply can be found here, and is an example of the collegiality frequently found in big-city practice:

Taking away the undersigned's unique style of litigating in a sophomoric attempt at leveling the litigation playing field would be as ridiculous as the undersigned filing a motion in Limine requesting that plaintiff's counsel be ordered to refrain from wearing pants at time of trial.

Can't get enough of lawyers and their magic acts? Try this one.