Sunday, September 30, 2007

Bill this one as "personal"

Sometimes you just need to look at the title of a case to tell what happened.

The example for the day is Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, Inc. v. Pussycat Cinema, Ltd., 604 F.2d 200 (2nd Cir. (N.Y.), 1979).

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Friday, September 28, 2007

Level up!

Now is the time of year when many law students start feeling bad about themselves, whether it be due to overwork, underachievement, infighting, or any number of other reasons. As a partial remedy, I'm providing a link to Ulillillia, who has many things to teach us all.

-Learn a simple mathematical equation to express whether you like things or not. According to his scale, the Best Thing Ever is music from Final Fantasy 6 (which he listened to for 52 1/4 consecutive days), and the Worst Thing Ever was a person who made fun of him (although TV ads with whistling in them come close).

-Defensive and evasion capabilities of various insects.

-Read about the time he imagined he kicked a 95 yard field goal.

-Discover how many times he's dreamt about people standing in mud.

-How good or bad a page of text is, scored entirely on how many times it uses the dread words "person" or "people.

-The fascinating story of a family that went camping and engaged in very precise measurements of everything that happened.

-Dozens of ways to kill Miles "Tails" Prower in Sonic 3 and Knuckles.

-The reason why he would intentionally take damage in Metroid.

-The First Law: All matter has Hit Points. Without Hit Points, nothing exists.

If you, like Uli, have an obsession with numbers, but are less afraid of the naughty side of life, you may want to get your hands on F.A.T.A.L., "the most difficult, detailed, realistic and historically/mythically accurate role-playing game available," in which every character has to roll an anal circumference rating, in which female characters have an intelligence penalty, in which fully-functional hermaphrodites are as common as extra nipples, in which infants can fill out an A-cup bra, and in which rape is a less severe crime than shoplifting. Check out this review for more highlights.

Monday, September 24, 2007

In today's mail

Catch the Vision!

Uh oh, first line and they're already mixing metaphors.

A vision is a "desired future." It is what we believe that something can be if we put our best into it.

What about an apocalyptic vision?

Real Life is a new church coming to Moscow and Pullman with a compelling 'vision' for Moscow/Pullman's future. We see a day when a new church can help families reunite, communities grow, and people acheive [sic] God's best.

I'm a little rusty on my theology, but I seem to recall something about God being perfect and omnipotent. That makes me a little curious as to why anything that wasn't God's best would occur. Are they implying God makes mistakes? Because lots of people have told me God doesn't make mistakes.

Join us this October and catch the vision of Real Life. Jump in and connect and become part of making this vision a reality. Share the story with friends and neighbors and help "Real Life" make a "Real Impact."

Wow, I have to catch a vision, jump in, connect, and become part of making said vision (before or after I catch it?). I'm exhausted.

The Real Life Story...
1998, Jim Putman and Aaron Couch moved to Post Falls, Idaho from Portland, Oregon to plant a church.

This reminds me of an episode of "Garfield and Friends" in which somebody plants a minimall from a minimall seed. One could almost say that Real Life appears to be the minimall of churches (whatever that means).

Within 8 years, Real Life Ministries grew to become the 34th most influential church in the United States.

One, I'd like to see the source for that statistic, and two, I think when they say "church" they mean "parish." There's no way that these guys are #34 if you're counting all the mainline Christian denominations as "churches" rather than breaking them down, parish by parish.

The church has grown from 4 people to over 7,000. Now, in 2007, Aaron Couch, Charlie Couch, Michael Reyes, and Sam Wagner are bringing the mission and ministry of Real Life to Moscow and Pullman.

What happened to Jim Putman?

At Moscow Real Life
*Real Life Messages

Good, I'm sick of those religious leaders who are always speaking through parables about servants and mustard seeds and camels and crap.

*Uplifting Music With A 'Pop' Feel

Coloraturas wanted to sing major key only.

*Safe & Loving Nursery

Doesn't look like the City of Moscow has a list of registered nurseries online. They do in Anchorage, so you can read all about inspection reports if you get very bored.

*Great Programs For Kids

If my experience is typical, many of these will involve roping the children into the "Uplifting Music" business.

*People Like You

They do? Nice to know.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Consecutive motorcycle-related posts

I don't really care if George Clooney lives or dies. I'm only linking to this story so I can say that he's been injured in the Weehawken area.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Get your motor runnin'

What is it about motorcycles that makes people want to make a whole bunch of movies about them? And what is it that makes the motorcycle mystique completely disappear on camera, leaving the actors looking like total dinks and the film utter crap?

I present to you three examples. Example #1 is "Knightriders," a 1981 film directed by George Romero (!) in which schmucks at a Renaissance fair joust on motorcycles. Note: The following clip contains a shirtless Ed Harris.

Example #2 is from "Megaforce," which starred Edward Mulhare (who was in the TV show "Knight Rider," so we've come full circle already). Remember, these bikes are supposed to be the latest in advanced weaponry.

Example #3 is from "Warrior of the Lost World." You can tell that this bike is high-tech because it has its own screen saver.

In fact, just about the only good motorcycle scene I can think of is the desert chase from "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade." Am I missing any?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A window into my mental state

I saw a news story today informing me that a federal prosecutor was arrested in a child sex sting operation. My first thought was..., it wasn't "Paedogeddon." That was my second thought.

My first thought was, "Hey! Job opening!"

Monday, September 17, 2007

On appeal from Circuit Niner

I'm working on a moot court problem involving federal preemption of state trucking regulations, and I am sorely tempted to write it in outdated CB lingo.

"Questions presented. 1. Must a road jockey hauling a box full of heaters feed the bears?"

Friday, September 14, 2007

They never did find his body

If Hitler shaved his mustache and got a haircut, do you think you'd be able to pick him out of a crowd?

I don't think I would. Unless he was wearing his uniform in which case I would probably look at him more carefully and think, "Hmm, he looks kinda like Hitler."

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

It's the final votedown!

A lot of people think that Alaska governor Sarah Palin is the best-looking governor in America. But she'll be facing a challenge next year, when Duke professor Michael Munger carries the Libertarian standard for North Carolina's governor.

I will donate fifty dollars to Professor Munger's campaign if he pledges to sing "Sister Christian" at his inauguration.

EDIT: Or if he pledges to rename the governor's mansion to "Castle Greyskull."

Saturday, September 8, 2007

I'm a critic now

I've written a guest review over at The Bookshelf. Drop on in and check out my thoughts on The Iron Dream, an old-fashioned, two-fisted science-fiction tale from pulp author Adolf Hitler.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Maybe the book elaborates on this

I just saw Citizen Candy Man, which features interviews with the adults who got Willy Wonka's Golden Tickets when they were kids. Violet Beauregard makes an appearance.

We know that she was rolled away to be "juiced." But neither version of the film makes it clear just how they got the juice out of her. Did she puke it up? Did it ooze out of her pores? I demand answers!