Colorado State Patrol
I don't care if this has a light bar and sirens. This does not look like a police car. If I saw this car speeding past me, I would think it was a company car for a start-up that produces hydroelectric power or something.
Maine State Police
I've heard some libertarians complain that giving police black uniforms and vehicles is a sign of the increasing militarization of law enforcement. That said, I don't think we ought to make the police drive around in something that resembles the 1982 Cardinals' road uniforms.
Massachusetts State Police
Oh, no! I'm being pulled over by the Seattle Seahawks!
Tennessee State Highway Patrol
I can see how someone might think that a broken stripe is lovably retro. But there is no excuse for harvest gold.
Royal Canadian Mounted Police
Remember when you were constructing Lego buildings and you'd start running out of correctly-colored (sorry, "coloured") blocks, so you'd just throw in whatever colors you had left in a series of stripes?
Johannesburg Metro Police
Every year, South Africa loses many of its finest officers to psychosomatic blindness.
Fairfax County (VA) Police
Ooh, gradients! Can you throw in a lens flare?
Grapevine (TX) Police
Yes, Chief, I know, "Grapevine" and all that. But couldn't we have a design patterned on green grapes?
North Pole (AK) Police
I would be really impressed if they used the color-changing paint we used to have on Matchbox cars, so that the snow caps on the letters disappeared in the summertime.
Forks Township (PA) Police
This calls for a visit from Peter Stormare.
Pope County (IL) Sheriff
Rumor has it that Pope County also ordered a series of custom sirens.
University of Oregon Police
The same brand of ugly that has infected Oregon's football uniforms has moved on to its police cars.
Double Oak (TX) Police
Here's an example of what a police car ought to look like. "Police" is written in big, clear letters that can be read from a long distance away. The black-and-white paint job is distinctive. Even very young children, illiterates, and newcomers to town can determine instantly that this is a police car.