Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A Challenge for the Ambitious

If you haven't been keeping up with the latest developments in conspiracy theories, you may have missed out on the Alex Jones phenomenon. Mr. Jones is the proprietor of Infowars and PrisonPlanet, two highly dubious news sites, and host of a radio show that purports to bring the truth to the sheeple of America. Here you'll find the usual tales of the Bilderberg Group, sinister vaccines and poisoned water supplies, with a few exciting details. For instance, did you know that the cartoon "Squidbillies" is Pentagon propaganda?*

Anyhow, here's the challenge. Become an expert - you could always get yourself a PhD, or maybe use your National Guard experience to become a former Pentagon insider. Call the show week after week, and working backward chronologically, convince him that every single military action in history was staged.

At what point will he lose interest? My guess is that it will happen around the time that the Russians paid off Charles XII to take a dive at Poltava. (To paraphrase Raul Julia, the first rule of American history: what's before America is not important.)

Bonus points if you can provide a convincing explanation of how MI5 framed the Nazis for pretending that the Communists burned the Reichstag.

*note how Jones slips into a Southern accent when pretending to be an idiot, then complains that Southerners are unfairly stereotyped as idiots

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