Photos: Reno

I went to Reno with the rollergirls and here are the pictures I took.

A human tragedy

Now that Michael Jackson is allegedly dead, it's time for every pundit to reflect What Went Wrong. My theory: surrounded by syncophants all his life who continually took advantage of him, he overreacted to criticism and sought to hide beneath an ever-changing face, among the children he thought he could trust. But I'm probably wrong. All I know is that he's one of the few musical artists ever to make truly effective use of the orchestra hit.

Why not watch "Louis, Martin, and Michael," Louis Theroux's documentary on Jackson (which ends up being more about the people who have made Jackson what he was)?

Megachurches reek of awesomeness!

I'm almost tempted to move to Minnesota just so I can join the Edge Christian Worship Center.

I'm sure the correct answer can be found in "Clash of the Titans"

Legend has it that Perseus killed Medusa by getting himself a mirrored shield, and instead of looking at Medusa directly during the fight, he looked at her reflection in the shield.

I have no idea how this worked logistically.

If Perseus held the shield in front of him like most warriors held their shields, he probably wouldn't have been able to see much of the reflection (unless the shield was constructed of some metal that was designed to reflect up, a la black patent leather shoes).

Maybe he had a segmented shield, with various panels at various angles causing a series of reflections that would render Medusa visible. Of course, that shield probably wouldn't do him much good in combat.

The only other option I can think of is that Perseus walked backwards towards Medusa while holding the shield up over his head at an angle, like when you're trying to see the back of your head with a hand mirror and a bathroom mirror, and then when he got real close, he closed his eyes, spun around with his sword drawn, and slashed Medusa in half. This plan would fail spectacularly if Medusa was capable of any sort of fighting apart from her curse powers.

I think the "Medusa saw her own reflection and turned herself to stone" variation of the myth was designed to compensate for that narrative shortcoming.

I bet they have nightmares of the bird from the Trans Am hood decal attacking them

Do you remember visiting Grandma's house and finding her closet full of old boxes and coffee cans? Do you remember how she asked you to remove the wrapping paper on your Christmas presents very carefully so that she could re-use the paper next year?

Do you sometimes wonder what would happen if Grandma applied her Depression-fostered thrift to her car?

She'd probably post at Ecomodder, where the Bizarro "Big Daddy" Roths go to soup down their cars in an overzealous pursuit of gas mileage.

"But isn't that a laudable goal?" you ask. I guess you haven't clicked on the link yet, have you? Check their "65+ Vehicle modifications for better fuel economy," where you can learn how to drive happily without power steering, rearview mirrors, windshield wipers, or alternators.

Or perhaps you could benefit from one of their "100+ hypermiling / ecodriving tips to increase gas mileage." Here's one I'll be sure to try:

25) Pick up cargo "high", deliver "low"

If possible, shop at stores that are higher in elevation than your home. That way the extra weight you pick up (shopping items) is on board for the descending return leg where it's less of a penalty than it would be on an ascending return leg.

Maybe if crunchy-haired freegan chicks are your thing, then it's all worthwhile, but I think most guys would prefer the redheaded hot rod honey in fishnet stockings. (Me? I drive a Buick. I attract women over 35 like nobody's business.)

You never listen!

On the other hand, maybe fun isn't what you're looking for on your computer. Maybe awkwardness is more your thing. In that case, I've got stuff for you, too.

For one, check out Facade, which takes ELIZA technology in the opposite direction. In ELIZA, a computerized psychologist tried to help you. In Facade, you're a guest at Trip and Grace's place during a very uncomfortable marital spat. If you enjoyed watching Jan and Michael's dinner party on "The Office," this is going to be right up your alley. (Or if you're a bastard who likes to throw gasoline on the fire.)

For two, visit the Australian National University's Moodgym, the interactive cognitive behavioral therapist. I don't know much about CBT, and from what I've seen in the program, there are some elements which I think are wrong (it's supposed to get you to stop using "biased interpretations" of events, but aren't all interpretations biased?) but you can't beat the price, and if even one of you starts to improve your life because of something I linked, my blog will be more important than 94% of all other blogs in the universe.

Game Over? You're damn right Salieri's over

Due to league restructuring, my roller derby practices have been cut back, so I'm left with more free time and nothing to do during that free time. Thank goodness for free games on the Internet, eh?

For one, the classic Truck Dismount is now available for Mac. This is a fantastic timewaster and I highly recommend it to those of you who need to entertain children ages 5 to 10. Plot summary: stick man, truck, two ramps, wall. Drive truck into wall and hurt stick man.

For two, I've stumbled upon Extreme Warfare Revenge, the world's greatest pro wrestling booking simulator. Time to play out that Goldust/Tajiri feud I've been dreaming of!