I sleep next to my computer. It provides background noise that helps me sleep. That's important for this story.
When I woke up on Sunday morning, I saw a note in Stickies that hadn't been there when I went to sleep. It read "Vilsack noetimfy."
Clearly whatever I had been dreaming about was important enough that I felt like I had to noetimfy U.S. Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack about it. (Stolen subsidy money? A new super-efficient fertilizer? A plot to poison America's crops? And is the latter actually Janet Napolitano's territory?)
When I woke up on Monday morning, I had two missed calls on my phone from a number I didn't recognize. They had been placed at 12:50 AM. According to Google, the number was a pay phone in Moscow. (Moscow, Idaho, not Moscow, Russia. If I'd had calls from a pay phone in Moscow, Russia, I would've wondered if I had actually uncovered a plot to poison America's crops.)
Stay tuned for future exciting tales, or tales that pass for exciting in my dreary excuse for a life.