Morning shows in general are a bad idea

You may remember the story of the woman who died while attempting not to pee as part of a radio contest to win a Wii.

An Orlando station is recruiting women to party for 30 straight hours to win breast implants.

In the interest of helping out other radio stations that are looking to expose themselves to liability in order to get some publicity, I've devised a few potential contests.

• Throw furniture off a twelve-story building. Anything the contestants catch, they win. Final item: a piano.
• Contestant who eats the most almonds in a 24-hour period wins an iPod.
• Contestants take turns kicking each other in the crotch. Last man standing wins a car stereo.
• Contestant who successfully fends off the most trained fighting dogs wins season tickets to the Falcons.
• Contestant who holds head in a vat of liquid nitrogen the longest wins a plasma TV.
• Contestants parade through the slums of Detroit dressed as Hasidic Jews in blackface. Survivors win a Jeep.
• Contestants tightrope walk across telephone lines during a thunderstorm. The one who walks the furthest gets a jetski.