• Buried my infant son.
• Reported all my previous employers for discriminatory hiring practices.
• Passed a kidney stone.
• Translated "Les Miserables" into Klingon.
• Stood up for myself when those jerks at Burger King put ketchup on my burger after I specifically asked them not to.
• Well, I was working as a mercenary in Liberia...
• Headbutted thirty-eight police officers in one evening.
• Followed all the cruel directives of the court which were designed to keep me away from my true love, Emma Watson.
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