Sunday, September 28, 2008


If you've read my blog for any amount of time you probably know that my writing idols include James Lileks and Jayne Without Pity.* In slavish imitation of Jayne, I'm going to offer up a couple of budget recipes I've developed.

Bachelor Curry
Combine white rice and water in a bowl. Microwave for 5 minutes, then fluff and dump on a plate. Then microwave a bowl of canned chili (if you're in the Northwest, use Nalley's - it's cheap and tasty). Pour chili over rice and eat.

Peanut butter and jelly, on a croissant.

Sal's Special
Spread cream cheese on a slice of whole wheat bread. Add a slice of cheddar. Then add sliced ham and sliced turkey. Close the sandwich and put in your toaster oven, set on "light".

Victory Float
Two scoops of vanilla ice cream in a tall glass. Add the sparkling wine of your choice.

*Another writer I've come to admire recently is Keith Allison of Teleport City. He's a fantastic slice-of-life writer. For example, here's a clip from his review of Roller Blade: 7th grade, I had decent luck with the ladies, so there were plenty of opportunities for me to put the movies on some young honey, maybe buy her an Orange Whip or some fries at the concession stand, maybe impress her by convincing the DJ to play us a song he was probably going to play anyway. And then you hear the first little bit of "Hold Me Now," ask the girl to skate, take her hand, and for the next three minutes or so yo roll through a swirling snowstorm of colored lights and raging hormones that can only be assuaged by letting go of her hand as the song ends and "Play Guitar" by John Cougar Mellencamp comes on and affords you a chance to fast skate off some of that pent up sexual energy -- especially if the DJ is edgy and doesn't blank out the "Forget all about that macho shit and learn how to play guitar" line.

1 comment:

Saravá! said...

I'm afraid just reading about the victory float maed my blood glucose levels rise and made me naseous. To each their own, though.