Well, it's Friday the 13th, and that's good news if you're a journalist with a deadline to meet. You can just write a story about locals talking about Friday the 13th. It's almost as easy a story as writing about what words L'Academie Francaise have decided to admit to the language this year. (Good news, Francophones, you can now say "bazooka" without betraying your linguistic heritage.)
As long as I'm complaining about this article, I'll take on the lead-in.
Uh-oh! It's Friday the 13th, and bad luck is creeping your way.
Or is it?
Cub reporters should not follow this model, lest we see articles that look like this:
The Anchorage Police Department is seeking two suspects in connection with the robbery of a liquor store on DeBarr Road on Friday night.
Or are they?