Tuesday, November 27, 2007

(Bey)On(d) Iowa (see what I did there?)

Rumors continue to swirl about Kirk Ferentz leaving Iowa to take the Michigan head coaching job. I'm sure the message boards are full of anger right now. (Well, they're always full of anger, so that's a safe bet.) Should Ferentz leave, who would I want for the job? I could always apply for it myself using my PlayStation experience a la Jon Boileau, but I'd probably prove disastrous.

Guys I'd Like To See But I Don't Think We Could Hire
USF Head Coach Jim Leavitt. A member of the Legendary Hayden Fry Coaching Tree (LHFCT), he took South Florida from a bunch of nobodies in 1-AA to a national power. He wouldn't leave USF for the Alabama job, though, so I don't think he'd leave for Iowa.

Wisconsin Head Coach Bret Bielema. Former Hawkeye standout under Fry who still has a Tiger Hawk tattoo. By all accounts he's one of the best young coaches in the country, but he's already got a great job at Wisconsin.

Guys Who Will Get Some Talk, But We Shouldn't Hire

SDSU Head Coach Chuck Long. He nearly won the Heisman for the Hawkeyes in '85 and ran a high-powered offense at Oklahoma. His tenure at San Diego State has been unremarkable. Give him a few years.

New York Jets OL Coach Mike Devlin. Another UI alumnus, but he's mighty inexperienced.

Arizona Head Coach Mike Stoops. Yes, he's a member of the LHFCT, but his program at Arizona has been crappy and his players' graduations rates have been consistently awful. If you're going to round up idiots to play for your team, they should at least be idiots that play good football.

Guys I'd Like Us To Hire
Packers offensive coordinator Joe Philbin. He was the offensive line coach for the Hawkeyes from the beginning of Ferentz's tenure through the Orange Bowl and helped turn those guys into monsters. Now he's re-energized a stagnant Packers offense. Definitely a short-lister.

UNI Head Coach Mark Farley. Not part of the LHFCT, but made Northern Iowa a national power in I-AA. Worth a shot if we can't get Philbin.

A Guy Who Won't Get Considered But Should
Navy Head Coach Paul Johnson. He's turned Navy into a winning program. Navy! Imagine what he could do if he could recruit the thugs, illiterates, and moral degenerates that make up the backbone of America's top football teams. And don't give me that "the wishbone won't work in the Big Ten" line. He used to be offensive coordinator at Hawaii, so he knows how to throw the ball around.

As for the vacant Washington State job, the press is throwing around all the usual Western football names: Chris Petersen, John Gregory, Scott Linehan, and possibly Mike Price.

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