A break from my regularly-scheduled all-encompassing boredom

1. No one fell for my lame attempt at an April Fool's joke this year (changing my Facebook status to "In a Relationship"). Maybe it's because no one takes me seriously anyway. But I did get the satisfaction of noticing the excitement of some of my classmates when they discovered a CNN report that Snoop Dogg was joining their faith.
"Did you see this article?" one of them asked me. "
Yeah, did you look at the date on that?"
"Oh, wait, was it April 1st? Oh, man..."
Apparently the idea of Snoop becoming Mormon was more plausible than me getting a girlfriend.

2. Oh boy, a joke based on a Venn diagram!


3. I've heard that there are some people who complain that medication for brain disorders make them feel like emotionless zombies. I want to know where to get some of this medicine because it would make my life a lot easier for the next few months.