Monday, October 15, 2007

Could be worse. Could be Pyongyang.

Suppose you're a city that sucks, and you're trying to attract a new, non-sucky populace. How do you do it? Well, if you're Louisville, you run a smear campaign against other cities. Interesting, I guess. Let's see what other wretched hives of scum and villainy have to say about themselves.

Camden, New Jersey claims to be ...a city rich in history, and diversity. A City that is on the move to provide a better place to live, work, support families, and raise children. A City that offers riverfront development, growth in educational facilities, entertainment, higher education, transportation, health care, sports facilities, economic development, and cultural enrichment. A City that is rich in spiritual values and offers a large variety of churches and worship services... A City that provides an unparalleled opportunity to be a victim of crime at six times the national average.

Opa-Locka, Florida, where 35% of the population is below the poverty line and only half the people have high school diplomas, offers very little on its web site except for pictures of its rather stout mayor, and announcements about the new branch library (which offers "home deliveries Netflex style").

Youngstown is a diverse community with beautiful parks and historical landmarks. It's also been known as "Crimetown, U.S.A." since the 1960s.

I'll give El Centro, California some credit: its web site does mention that the city's unemployment rate is over 20%.

When I think of tourism, I think of Gary, Indiana. At the Crossroads of America, Gary provides the perfect location for a weekend getaway, a family vacation, a business trip, or a night on the town. Relax on the beach or rent a jet ski! ...Next time you are in town, stop in and have a good time. There's lots to do, and plenty of time to do it! Such as, say, exploring the completely abandoned and crime-ridden downtown?

Compton notes that it has plenty of affordable housing. Wonder why?

East St. Louis City Hall (freshly repurchased from a prison inmate who won it in a lawsuit) announces Our city offers superb community services, such as parks, schools, and libraries to name just a few. I'd rather get those services somewhere else, if possible.

No comments: