1. There is a minor league soccer team in Japan called "Black Pecker Hakodate."
Any half-skilled comedian can run with this premise (stiff defense, good penetration, rose to the occasion, etc.) but I'm only going to jog with it. At English soccer games, the fans all wave their scarves to show support for their teams. What do the fans in Hakodate wave? Well, whatever it is, it should be emblazoned with the team motto: "Black Pecker is hard to beat."
2. The premise of Adam Sandler's new movie doesn't strike me as all that funny, because just about every Israeli was in the military and can probably kill you, including the hairdressers. Plus, there actually is a famous hairdresser who was in the Israeli army.