"Missouri Compromise." Oh, that's clever.

A friend of mine has long maintained that every country in Europe claims to be the birthplace of foosball. In that case, the mullet is the anti-football, because according to this article, every country blames the mullet on somebody else.

• The Argentines call it the "Cubana."
• The Danish either call it the "Bundesliga" (after Germany's top soccer league) or "Swede hair."
• The Dutch also blame the Germans, calling it the "German mat."
• The Finns and Poles call it "Czech hair."
• The French refer to it as the "Coupe a la Waddle," after former English footballer Chris Waddle.
• West Germans blame the East Germans by calling it the "Ossispoiler."
• Hungary also calls it the "Bundesliga."
• The Italians either call it "German-style" or "MacGyver-style." It's also known as the "McGyver" in South Korea. (I'm pretty sure North Korea doesn't have mullets.)

Bonus. I think if I had small children I would show them pictures of the meth addicts in the Portland jail and say, "See, kids, this is what happens when you don't brush your teeth twice a day."